Aw! All grown up!

Had a hellacious day at the yard. Lots of stuff going on, preparing for the arrival of my sister from Canada and was hoping to start early and leave early, but it wasn't to be. The lovelies have their stuff and you can't rush them through any of it.

We have a new mare who is not settling, a clever, gentle ginger giant who releases himself under his own guidance for a yard wander, and lots of horses staying in for visits from their owners who needed skipping out and haying up to keep them occupied.

And Max. Well, as it happened, today both of Max's field mates were being held back, so I held Max back too because he's not been a horse happy to be in a field on his own in our time together.

We have history here. Before I bought him, he spent a time in a field (swamp) on his own with no Other Horses, and he just about coped but he was not happy. Then he came back to our village and lived in a field with his mum again for a spell.

That didn't work out so well, for lots of reasons, and I moved him to a yard that I thought would be just the ticket, but I'd been forewarned by his previous owners that "Max can never be in a stable! He climbs out of them. You must NEVER put him in a stable!"

Well, we got round that one without too much trouble. He lived out, but I would bring him into a spare box, put food down, stay with him while he ate it, and then take him out again.

Then, I would stand outside his door while he ate, then take him out again.

Then, I would wander away and give him a bit more time on his own, but be close by. He settled, and he was fine. We turned being into a stable into something that was a good thing, and Max loves his home comforts now, to the point that I think if God forbid, he ever needs box rest, we'll be able to cope just fine. He's Maxo Relaxo.

But things changed at that other yard, and not for the good. Had I only known then what I know now, but we can all say that about different phases of our lives.

I was working the yard to earn Max's keep, but while I was doing that, the Yard Manager filled up all the boxes with liveries, and there were no spares for Max to practice or have respite in.

So he was left out most of the time, but YM's horses were also out in the next field, so he was never totally alone, and when I was on the yard in the mornings, I'd bring him into a spare box once I'd mucked out and released the others into the field, and Max would stay happily in a spare box, watching my every move and nickering for a bit of attention.

Then things changed more. The fields got poached, liveries left and the YM's horses moved into the spare boxes and spent their nights, and Max was left as the only horse out at night. Lone horse in a field. Not the kind of life horses are wired for at all.

He had his mates brought out to him during the day, but they went back to their boxes at about 4.00 pm and Max was beside himself, calling for company. It broke my heart to leave him like that, desperate and alone.

Then in the morning I would pitch up at half seven to start work, and there Max would be, at the gate and calling as soon as he saw my car. I'd take him hay, but all he wanted was to come in from the field with me. I'd try to find a space for him as soon as I could, so I could bring him in to have dry him off and warm him up, and give him the comfort of a herd; me and the horses that were still in. Even if it just meant tying him on the yard I was working with a hay net, just so he wasn't on his own.

Happy as a clam he'd be then, munching and watching, but then the time would come to take him back to his lonely field and he would protest, then call after me as I left.

I hated those days with a hot hatred. That yard was in free fall going bad, and even when Max finally got his own box, I knew I had to get him out of there, he became so clingy and needy. Just not right at all.

So we moved to our present yard, where Max is happy has grown in confidence and is settled in his world. The routine is faultless and generally, Max was never left on his own in a field. On the rare occasions that it did happen, he would again stand by the gate and call after me as I walked away.

But time marches on, and Max and I have had many adventures.

Today, finally, at the end of all my chores, I had to face taking Max out to his field alone, because I couldn't stay any longer. I took a pear, and his mint lick to ease the pain and prepared myself to be heart sore.

As we trod that path, I met my YO just returning to the yard from her house and told her to expect some talking from Max. I even set my mobile phone up to record because I thought if Max gave a belting few neighs, I would use them as a ring tone.

So in we went, gate closed, pear. Max went off to his water trough and had a long drink.

He was alert, looking for his mates, but mates there were none, so he came back to me and had a go at his mint lick.

"Are you OK, Max? I'm going now, lots to do. Your friends will be here soon, I promise. You won't be alone for long."

Big blink.

"OK, I'm going, now. See you tomorrow, God bless."

Another big blink.

Closed the gate, put the chain on, walked away.

Not a sound. Switched phone off recording option. Turned back.

"Bye Max."

"See ya, lady!" head down, eating grass.

"I'm really going now, Max. No kidding."

Head up, big expressive eyes.

"I'm OK, mum, go do your stuff. Don't worry."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

Oh! My grown up boy!

Bittersweet. Glad he's not bovvered, slightly sad he didn't try to call me back, but also so happy that he didn't feel the need.

Back on the yard, saw YO in feed room and said, "My boy is all grown up! Not a word."

"He's a sensible pony now. Good on him."

Yes, he is. Mostly. Except for when he isn't. But for today, really glad that Max feels so self-contained. A bit of time on his own in a field is no longer something for him to worry about.

Aw... they grow up so fast.