Sometimes doing nothing is everything

I am over the moon with my boy, and me, and us!

I have mentioned I prefer being on the ground with Max rather than riding him, but we're not very good at it yet (not that we're brilliant ridden either, but we'll draw a veil over that)

A friend of mine came over to give Max and fuss and watch us lining last week, and she noted (as I often have) that when his tack is on, whether it's saddle, roller, whatever, Max switches off and gives me the dead eye. He'll go through the motions, and sometimes, especially when there is nobody watching, we click and he's superb, but mostly not.

Today, I took Max into the school with no intentions at all. My point was to just be with him, ask nothing of him, and see what happened. I wanted him to understand that sometimes when we go into the school, it's just to hang out. Sometimes, I will ask nothing of him at all. Sometimes it's just about being in the moment.

I had cleared my desk at work, and decided not to do overtime. I put it out of my mind. I had decided groceries and house chores could wait, I had nothing pressing to do other than hang out with Max. No agenda, nowhere else to go, nothing else to do.

YO had the day off and was not on the yard, so that was another mental block out of the way. No pressure felt from disapproval and incredulity at what I think passes for working with my horse.

I closed the school door behind us and took Max's head collar off. He was already pawing the ground as I did that, so I stepped back and he had a roll. I walked away from him.

There was a lot of mooching about and I left him to it. There was also a lot of just hanging out with me, which was fine.

We were in there for a long time. Sometimes he wanted to do stuff, and we did, and sometimes he got distracted so I let him do his thing.

I sat down on the bench we use as a mounting block, and Max spent a lot of time sniffing my boots (I wore them for mucking out that morning, so I expect they smelled interesting!).

I stood up on the bench to see how Max would like me WAY tall, and he thought that was great for scratching his ears, but then he walked away. Eventually he came back and planted himself in the perfect position to hop on his back.

I hadn't been planning to do that, he had nothing on at all, and I didn't have a hat, and I know it wasn't immensely sensible, but in that moment, getting on his back felt like exactly the right thing to do. So I did.

He took me, with a purposeful walk, to the centre of the school, then turned his head to look at me. I sat still and looked back. He was totally relaxed.

He had an itch on his side, so I reached down and helped him, then gave him scritchers on his best itchy spots, and felt like it was a really good thing to be doing - can't really explain why, but it was all so calm and so together, him totally accepting me being up there - well, he always does because he's kind and generous, but this felt different - and me up there with no purpose in mind other than sitting on his back and being with him.

I sat back up, nudged his elbow with my toe then whispered "Spanish".

I have tried and tried to get Max to do his Spanish stamp from the saddle and he never does it. He looks confused or resolute with a Bartleby the Scrivener "I would prefer not to" vibe.

He'll do it if I'm on the ground, with somebody else in the saddle even, but never with just me up there on my own.

But today,with the merest whisper and the slightest nudge, he gathered himself, looking perfectly majestic. I felt all those muscles tweak, felt him prepare and gather himself, sort his balance like it was all in slow motion, and then up came that leg, high and then hovering there, like it was the most natural thing in the world for us to be together with nothing, but claiming our rights to everything.

It felt... amazing! Absolutely bloody amazing. What came from him, the willingness, the... oh! the grace and the power and the gift. It was incredible.

I'm sure it was nothing to watch, but to feel... I wish I could find the word.

Max and me, we're just a hairy, stubborn, comedy pony and his hapless know-nothing human. But today, in that moment, we were Amazing.

I slid off his back and looked him in the eye. The moment held for a few more seconds as he looked back at me, an ancient and wise thing.

Then my big grin broke the magic: "Max, you are BRILLIANT!"

Max shrugged off tall, elegant stallion cloak and became smiley, hairy Fjord pony again; nodded his head enthusiastically and accepted his pony nut prize as we became just us again.

What a pony though! And what a full heart, what a smile still on my face.

Horses are just... just... need a new word that has never been uttered before, that is sacred, musical and awesome just for horses.