The Word

I sometimes wonder if Max gets any inkling of what a happy position he has in life, what a lucky turn of fate it was for him that I rocked up and fell in love with him.

But at the same time, I don't want him to feel lucky, because the life he has is just what it should be; it shouldn't be down to luck. And for those of us who care to acknowledge it, we get a heck of a lot more from the horses than they get from us.

Had a really good and encouraging day with Max yesterday. The Ent and I had planned to take him for a walk in hand for our Sunday afternoon bit of time together, but before Ent showed up on his bike, I went on ahead and took Max into the school for a lunge, but a good lunge because the jumps were all down so we had the whole school to work with.

He balked a bit, tried a few of his fancy moves, but I got round them pretty easily and was thinking that since we've started our "do nothing Fridays", things have really changed between Max and me, and we have taken another step forward in our journey together.

I barely have to hold the lunge line - it's firm enough in my hand for contact, but there's a slack I have to keep from dragging on the floor (think that would feel a bit tickly vibration in his mouth if I let it drag) and little finger tweaks are enough. I can see his ears registering change of pressure and I can get him to extend his trot by changing my body language.

I'm way better at positioning myself now, I think (still working on it) so it was a pretty fret free session, even with the whip in my hand. Have done a lot of work on re-introducing the whip as an aid that doesn't scare Max, but helps us with tempo and momentum.

After we'd done ten minutes of good trot work on each rein, I took everything off and started doing some free style. Historically we have been pretty useless at this - Max knows how to get away from me and put himself out of reach and out of touch.

Blow me down. We were actually doing it! Proper doing it! Not always correct - bad timing, maybe me not being in the right place at the right time, but I could send him off at the trot and then up to canter, then change direction, then he'd give it some wellie and a bit of free spirited bucking and wall of death, but all very under control, all still listening to me and waiting for the next ask.

I could see by his face that he was enjoying himself, so we kept going, then I called him down to walk and whoa, approached, pat and pony nut, then sent him off again: "And trot off, sir!"

In the middle of this, Ent pitched up and came into the school, set himself up on a chair to observe. Max looked, acknowledged, but didn't take his concentration off me and for the first time ever, Ent saw that Max can shift it!

Yet still Max listened to me, even with an audience. He changed direction, he came back down to trot when I asked, and then off he went again when I upped the energy, with eager eyes and eager feet.

It was just brilliant to watch! So uplifting!

I was so pleased, and I know we didn't get it totally right, and I know I need to get better at listening to him too, as well as him listening to me... but it just felt so wonderful and so right.

We were doing it, and the whole vibe was that we were just having fun together. No stress, no weirdness, Max wasn't running away from me, he was just expressing himself so splendidly because he knew it was OK and exactly what I wanted.

We can definitely build on this, I feel. It just felt so different from other times we've tried.

After he'd finished running about, he showed the Ent how he can do Spanish on both legs with me on his bare back ("Really? Where's your hat?"), and then I slipped off and we went for a long walk, blackberry picking, in just his headcollar.

I'd almost forgotten how much I just like to walk out with Max just in hand. He was so chilled though, yeah a little bit of grass grabbing, but no Arab Mist at all.

I think we're on to something, me and Max! I think we're beginning to communicate on a whole new level. Don't want to run before we're walking, but man, it's pretty damn fine. It makes me feel optimistic and also makes me so sure that Max and I are just meant to be. My worries of letting him down, or not being knowledgeable enough or whatever my insecurities are - it doesn't matter because Max and I get each other, and we're finding our way to something really cool in our communication.

Max is all about the fun of being us together, and he's patient and clear in what he says and thinks. As soon as I get in the moment with him, with honesty and my heart and soul there for him, he makes it so bloomin' easy!

Love my pony. He's the best teacher I've met in my life's journey, and a proper soul mate.

Max is "home". That is the closest word I can find to describe what it is that we have: home.