The hack from hell

Poor ol' Mr Max! We went on a lone hack today and every horse scarer in Hampshire turned out for the occasion.

We started with a human eating car. That was not nice. A Mini... bonnet up, boot up, doors open, half torso dangling out of bonnet area. Surely being devoured!

Who knew the cars parked on our lane were carnivorous? Max didn't, and he does not like the new information. I assured him cars don't eat horses, and person being devoured laughed to ease the tension, but Max remains unconvinced. I mean, surely car snatching me off his back for a meal might in fact present some danger to Max himself? It stands to reason, doesn't it?

We recovered from that, and he was going so well, and so confidently. Then we had walkers with shiny sticks (he saw the sun reflect off them when they were way back, and just about carted me off). Eventually got off him because I thought we were headed for disaster. The walkers were on a path coming towards us, but there was a hedge between their path and the field we were in, so shiny sticks appeared and disappeared…

“Phew! They’re gone. Oh no! There they are… oh… Nope, gone. ARGH! I see ‘em! It’s an ambush! Look out they… Oh. Gone. What the…? Holy Cr*p! There they are again!”

Let the walkers past, and then got back on. That’s when we met the dirt bike ridden by Rider With No Face (crash helmet).

Then we had the pig... just about coped with the pig, until the farmhouse door opened and a bunch of hollering kids spilled out. That set the goat off, who started running around bleating, which set the pig off too, and Max was a quivering wreck, completely unsure of which way to bolt, so just did the frightened Riverdance.

Got him past it, ridden!! He was so tense, but he got through it all fairly well, and big ol' click treat for being brave. But he never really settled after that, just couldn't feel him relax at all.

Then we found an abandoned dolly carriage, complete with abandoned dolly, at the side of the lane. Man, that thing was BIG scary for Max. We crept past it sideways, practically in hysterics.

Then another bunch of tumbling kids, with yapping dog. Then farmer doing something that made a metallic noise behind the hedge, then, phew! home.

For all that, he really was very good. It was like riding a ticking bomb though.

Despite being disappointed by what Max had to go through on his hack from hell, I am so proud of him, and of us. I definitely put it all down to long-lining and taking him out in hand. We've gotten to know and trust each other on the ground, and that really helped us when hell was a-poppin' all around us. He didn't like it, but he listened and he trusted me. And I didn't like it much, either, but I could stay calm because I trust him, too.

Groundwork, groundwork, groundwork! And groundwork some more.