And everybody breathe...

Max has sailed through his op. Me, not so much.

Woke up this morning feeling relatively stable and calm. Made myself a coffee, sat down, and found myself hyperventilating. "Why can't I breathe? Why is my stomach cramping?"

Went to the yard, and despite Max's empty box, took great comfort from the neds that were there. I give particular thanks to Audrey, our lovely chestnut mare, who wrapped me in the most sympathetic cuddle.

I got the call from the surgeon this morning just before nine, as I was finishing up the yard work.

"I've had a look at Max, and we're about to perform surgery. It's undocumented, there's nothing to refer to. This is unprecedented, and I can't guarantee the efficacy..."

That's not what you want to hear, is it? He went on, reminded me of the dangers of general anaesthetic, said he wasn't sure it would work, but it would probably make things better in the long run. Said he'd call when it was done.

So I went off to work, I sat like a tightly coiled spring for three hours, I had a doctor offer me a brown paper bag to breathe into (I work in a surgery) and I left at 1.00 to meet Sammie's mum, who was on a mission of mercy to hold my hand all afternoon, and visit Max if that was on the cards.

Was on my way to the car when the call came in. "Hi! Max is a grand wee horse, isn't he? He's come round now, and we're just about to lead him back into his box."

Talked about whether I should visit, and was advised that no, best not. He'd be groggy all afternoon and recovering, upsetting for me, and possibly distressing for Max.

Arrived home moments before Sammie's mum pulled into my drive, and had to assure her that all was well as I burst into tears, finally, with the relief of my boy coming through it all and she gathered me into a big hug, "I know, I know! He's fine, cry it out!"

All being well, I can collect him tomorrow as planned. I'll get a confirmation call in the morning.

Again, many thanks to all of you who have been hanging on and wishing us the best. More updates when I have them.

Sammie's mum asks me to add that I'm on the wine now (she insisted) and you will not get sense out of me until tomorrow anyway.

x